So here we are. 8 days before Brad and I 'tye the knot', and oddly I am finding myself to be pretty calm. This is a far cry than how I felt 10 days ago. Maybe I have gone so far off the deep end in emotion that I am numb to my own feelings at this point. Or maybe life is playing a sick joke on me and I will wake up the morning of, sobbing, laughing and histerically calling everyone I know.
The whole process of wedding planning is excitingly awkward. It kind of reminds me of highschool assemblies. Everyone can't wait for them, but the second they ask for a volunteer, no one wants to raise their hand. I envision Brad as the principal out there with a microphone asking for a bride, and I spring up fist pumping like a champ. Only to feel my legs give out two second later when I realize, I will have to be the center of attention. This whole event now is about me. Okay maybe a little about him too, but I have never heard the word groomzilla, have you?
Cake, flowers, dresses, decorations, guest list, music, location, wedding invites. Seriously, the list never ends, and soon as you remember something you had forgotten, well, you can just go ahead and tack on two more things. It's ridiculous. I often found myself at the craft store, spending $100 or more on random wedding decorations, such as sticks, or paper, and thinking to myself, really? Am I really spending this much money on this? I argued with myself all the way to the check stand, my wedding plans always won, and I was left with an empty bank account once again. Looking back at these times, it makes me realize that everyone should go through a wedding process of some sort. There are few things that I have learned throughout that I have found the be pretty important.
First being, we would all have a lot more money if we didn't spend it on stupid things we don't really need. Now, I can't say that I will always refer back to this little life lesson, BUT, I am acknowledging it. There were many times I went a little over board in my decorating ideas, only to realize it would add $200 or more to my already inflated wedding total. My final decision was always "Ok, I will do it, but only this one time, and ONLY because it is my wedding". Like every other human being though, I am really good at contradicting myself.
Second, which really should be the first, seeing how I will reference it a bit more, is the value of all of your relationships. Whether it be with your groom to be, family, or friends. A co-worker said it best to me "Your relationship with everyone you know, will change". Can you argue about ribbon color and at the end of the day not want to hang each other with that very ribbon? Can you ask for help, when you really know you don't need to ask in the first place? Can you cry to a friend and know they are secretly laughing at you because you are upset about a cake flavor, but let you cry anyways? The point I am getting at, is that you realize who is there for you, and who isn't. I think ultimately this is what a wedding is truly for. You are, after all 'building your life together'. Who will be part of that life? Who values your day as much as you do? Who can you lean on when you need to, who will return your call when they couldn't stand listening to your voicemail. You will be amazed who comes and who goes.
For now though, I am going. Going on vacation, and will come back asking that you now call me a 'Mrs.'
